Ruby is five today. As usual, her Grandma is behind the curve with the birthday gifts. So, Shabbos or not, I went online to find something suitable for Ruby. I looked at several websites that had nothing at all that seemed right. So I fell back to my default shopping site: Amazon.com. Endless choices. And some pretty weird ones.
I searched for gifts appropriate for children ages 5-7. Ruby is pretty smart and intellectually she is probably closer to 10 or 12 than 5. She is also a very wise child. I think she is an old soul. What would suit her? I have bought her Polly Pockets before. I know she loves those tiny dolls with the impossible clothes that only small fingers can manipulate. I began to search through hundreds of options. And some of them were unbelievable.
Among the suggestions for five-year-olds were several vampire dolls. OK, they're Barbie-like and vampires are hip these days (though "hip" probably isn't). Another of my favorites was Walter the Farting Dog. Oh right, I'm buying that for sure... And then, the crowning glory of the five-year-old's suggested gifts list: "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 27 inch Chainsaw." Complete with bloodstains. Say WHAT?
I ended up getting her some beautiful art supplies and a great stamping kit and some magnetic wooden "paper dolls" I know she enjoyed at her cousin Emma's house. She'll get them 2 days late, but then, that just makes her birthday last longer.
No vampires. No chainsaws. No farting dogs.
Think about it: someone actually buys those chainsaws, which are offered by a costume manufacturer, or they wouldn't be listed there. I'm just hoping it's not for a five-year-old...
Photo credit: Loyd Sherwood